Ten years ago I was sat on the top of the hill in my Ashram, surrounded by the serene beauty of nature, lost in deep meditation. Suddenly, tears streamed down my face as I was struck by a bolt of truth – everything I thought I knew about myself was a lie. For years, I had lived with a false identity, trying to fit into the world’s expectations, but now, in that stillness, I finally saw through the illusion. It was like being reborn, with a newfound clarity that cut through all the noise and distractions of life. I was free, finally free, to be who I truly was. And from that moment on, my perception of life was forever changed.
I realised that I devoured knowledge, thinking that maybe, just maybe, it held the key to the universe’s secrets. I earned not one, but two master’s, collected diplomas like trophies, and even learned three languages along the way. But for all my learning, I remained lost, trapped in a maze of facts and figures that left me feeling more suffocated than ever. And I realised – I wasn’t searching for knowledge, I was searching for wisdom.
I’ve been a restless traveller for as long as I can remember, chasing after the next adventure. I’ve seen sights that would make my heart sing, met wonderful people who touched me and had moments of pure, unbridled joy that left me dizzy with wonder. But no matter how incredible those moments were, they never seemed to stick around for long.
I tried to achieve different states of consciousness by using external forces. I got completely lost for a while. But everything was only temporary.
Love, or what I thought was love, became an addiction for me. I jumped in and out of relationships, both healthy and toxic, hoping that each one would finally be the missing piece of the puzzle that would make me happy. But time after time, I was left feeling hollow and unfulfilled. And that’s when I understood – the only person who could truly make me happy was me.
Sitting atop that hill, with hot cheeks and the taste of tears on my lips, I asked myself a question once more:
Who am I?
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