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Change Part 2

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Change part 2
Last month we started to talk about change. This month is part 2 of this discussion:

Changing Perception of Change

The fear of the unknown often accompanies change. We might worry about how a new situation will affect our lives, relationships, or routines. However, instead of approaching change with fear, we can choose to view it as an opportunity for growth and self-discovery. The change is not negative or positive, it just is, how we perceive it though is up to us.
Here are some ways to change your perception of change:

  • Embrace Change as a Learning Experience: Instead of resisting change, consider it an opportunity to learn about yourself and others. Every change brings a valuable lesson. It can reveal your strengths, weaknesses, and resilience. Reflect on the experiences you gain from it, and use them as stepping stones for personal development.
  • Let Go of Expectations: One common mistake people make is expecting change to be either entirely positive or negative. In reality, change often comes with a mix of good and bad, ease and difficulty. By letting go of preconceived notions and embracing the uncertainty of change, you open yourself up to a more flexible and adaptive mindset. This flexibility can help you navigate the challenges that come your way.

    Using Change as a Lesson

Change has the power to teach us about ourselves and the world around us. Here are some key insights you can gain by embracing change as a lesson:

  • Self-Discovery: Change often pushes us out of our comfort zones, encouraging self-discovery. In times of change, we may uncover hidden talents, develop new skills, or gain a deeper understanding of our values and priorities.
  • Resilience: Overcoming change, especially difficult changes, can strengthen our resilience. It shows us that we have the capacity to endure and adapt to challenging circumstances, which can boost our confidence and ability to face future changes.
  • Empathy: Change not only teaches us about ourselves but also about others. We become more empathetic as we recognize that everyone faces their unique set of challenges and transformations. This empathy can improve our relationships and connections with those around us.

    Allowing Time for Adjustment

One essential aspect of dealing with change is allowing yourself time to adjust. Recognize that adapting to a new situation takes time, and it’s perfectly normal to experience a range of emotions during this process. Here are some tips to help you navigate the adjustment period:

  • Acknowledge Your Feelings: It’s okay to feel a wide range of emotions in response to change. Whether you’re excited, anxious, sad, or happy, acknowledging and accepting these emotions is the first step towards embracing change.
  • Seek Support: Lean on friends, family, or professional support when facing significant changes. Sharing your feelings and experiences with others can provide comfort and valuable insights.
  • Be Patient with Yourself: Remember that change is a process, not an event. It’s natural to need time to adapt and find your footing in a new situation. Be patient with yourself and allow room for mistakes and setbacks.

Change is a constant force in our lives, and how we perceive and respond to it can greatly influence our well-being and personal growth.

Change

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Change Part 1
I think as human beings we love to create our safety bubble and stay safe there. But life is not like that. Life challenges us and tries to show us the life outside the bubble.
Change is an inherent part of life. It’s a constant force that shapes our experiences, challenges our perceptions, and moves us forward. Whether we like it or not, change is always on the horizon, and learning how to cope with it is an essential life skill. Look outside, nature changes every day. Even our bodies change every second and every seven years all our cells are completely renewed, a testament to the ever-evolving nature of existence. Change is the driving force behind personal growth and evolution. It can be both exciting and daunting, often simultaneously. The way we approach and handle change can determine our overall well-being and success in life. Here’s a roadmap to help you not only cope with change but also embrace it:
 
1. Breaking Big Change into Small Steps
The prospect of a significant life change, such as moving to a new city or starting a new job, can be overwhelming. To make it more manageable, break it down into smaller, more digestible steps. Think of these steps as building blocks towards the bigger change. For instance, if you’re moving to a new city, start by researching the area, then find housing, and finally plan the move itself. By focusing on one step at a time, you’ll reduce anxiety and build confidence.
 
2. Breaking the Patterns of Habits
Habits are powerful forces that can resist change. To embrace change, you might need to break some of your established routines. This doesn’t mean discarding all your habits; it’s about identifying which ones no longer serve you or align with your new goals. Once you’ve identified them, replace them with new, positive habits that support your desired changes. This might require patience and persistence, but it’s essential for growth.
 
3. Start with Small Changes
Sometimes, the fear of change itself can be paralyzing. To overcome this, start with small, manageable changes. These can be as simple as altering your daily routine or trying out a new restaurant instead of your usual one. Gradually, as you become more comfortable with small changes, you’ll build the confidence to tackle more significant transitions.
 
4. Accept the Change
Acceptance is a crucial step in coping with change. Recognize that change is a natural part of life and that resisting it can lead to unnecessary stress and unhappiness. Instead of fighting change, practice embracing it. This doesn’t mean you have to love every change that comes your way, but it does mean acknowledging its presence and being open to its potential benefits.
When you allow yourself to change, miracles can happen. You’ll discover new interests, meet new people, and experience personal growth. Change can lead to unexpected opportunities and open doors you never knew existed. By embracing change, you give yourself the chance to explore uncharted territories and find hidden strengths within yourself.

Change is inevitable, and learning to cope with it is a lifelong journey. So, as you move forward in life, remember that change is not the enemy; it’s the catalyst for a brighter, more fulfilling future.

Trusting Life

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Dance with life
Let it guide you
With every move you make
 
Trust life
Let it show its beauty
With every breath you take
 
Listen to life
Let it whisper its secrets
To your ear every night
 
Fall in love with life
Let it lead you
Let it be by your side
 
(Anna Smithers, Ashram May 2023)

Trusting Life

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Personally, I have a love-hate relationship with life. I always see it as this separate entity floating around or above me. You can call it whatever you want but I’m sure you know what I mean. I really believe (and again it doesn’t have to be your belief) that life is an all-knowing, loving entity trying to help me each day. However, the conditioning of my mind and everything I have been programmed with is not allowing me to see the bigger picture. In those moments I feel like a victim and complain about how life is unfair. Only after a while do I realise that whatever happened to me, happened for a reason.

I remember the day when I and my husband decided to buy a house together.  Our first house was repossession and just when we were about to sign the contract with a solicitor, the agent rang that the cash buyer paid £1000 more than our offer and the house never became ours. I cried for a week, asking myself questions like “Why does it happen to me?”. The second house had problems with unfinished roads and it took us months to realise that this won’t happen as well. Now I started to question if the universe actually wants us to be together. At the same time, my cousin managed to buy land and build a house and we still couldn’t find ours. And only when we walked to our current house I understood everything. I fell in love with it at first sight and it was 500 times better than any of the other houses we had seen. We bought it within weeks with no issues whatsoever.

Trusting life doesn’t mean not to try. Trusting life means having an open mind and understanding that life gives us what we need which is not always what we want at the time.

In a world often filled with uncertainty and chaos, learning to trust life can be a powerful and transformative practice. Trusting life means surrendering to the flow of existence, embracing your own vulnerability, and allowing yourself to be guided by intuition. But it’s not always the easiest practice, especially for people like me who are control freaks. So what can we do?

  1. Embrace Your Helplessness

One of the paradoxes of life is that true strength often arises from embracing our vulnerabilities and accepting our limitations. It’s essential to acknowledge that we are not always in control of every aspect of our lives. There are situations where we must confront our own helplessness and recognize that it’s okay not to have all the answers. When you embrace your helplessness, you open yourself up to growth and resilience. Instead of resisting it, you accept it as a part of the human experience. In doing so, you become more adaptable and better equipped to navigate life’s challenges.

  1. Release What You Cannot Control

Control is a concept many of us struggle with. We often cling to the idea that if we can control every aspect of our lives, we can prevent suffering or guarantee our desired outcomes. However, this desire for control can lead to stress, anxiety, and disappointment when things don’t go as planned. And often they are out of our control. Trusting life involves releasing the need to control everything and understanding that some things are beyond our influence. By letting go of control, you free up mental and emotional energy to focus on what you can change and make more mindful choices.

  1. Listen to Your Intuition

Your intuition is a powerful guiding force that can help you make decisions aligned with your true self and your deepest desires. Trusting life means learning to listen to this inner wisdom. It often speaks softly, through gut feelings, hunches, or subtle nudges, but it can be a reliable compass in the journey of life. So tap into your intuition, and create space for stillness and self-reflection. Practice mindfulness, meditation, or journaling to connect with your inner voice. As you become more attuned to your intuition, you’ll find it easier to make choices that resonate with your authentic self.

  1. See Life as a Teacher – Everything Happens for a Reason

Life is an ever-evolving classroom, that offers us valuable lessons and experiences. Instead of viewing challenges and setbacks as obstacles to overcome, try to see them as opportunities for growth. Every situation, whether positive or negative, can teach you something valuable. When you embrace the idea that everything happens for a reason, you shift your perspective from being a victim to empowerment. You become more resilient and open to learning, knowing that even the most challenging moments can ultimately contribute to your personal development.

  1. Create a Relationship with Life

Trust is the foundation of any meaningful relationship, and your relationship with life is no different. Cultivate a sense of trust in the universe, or whatever higher power or belief system resonates with you. Understand that life is not your enemy but your ally on this journey. Building a positive relationship with life involves gratitude, acceptance, and a willingness to collaborate with the forces at play. When you trust that life has your best interests at heart, you can navigate its ebbs and flows with greater ease.

  1. Surrender to Life

Perhaps the most profound aspect of trusting life is the act of surrender. Surrendering does not mean giving up; it means letting go of resistance and allowing life to unfold naturally. It’s an act of faith in the inherent wisdom of the universe. Surrender requires patience, humility, and a willingness to embrace uncertainty. It means trusting that, ultimately, things will work out as they are meant to, even if you can’t see the full picture in the present moment.

Trusting life is an ongoing practice that can bring a profound sense of peace and fulfillment. Trusting life allows you to embrace the beauty of the unknown and find meaning in every moment, no matter where your journey takes you. So what do you have to lose? Try it.

Emotional Resilience Part 1

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Inspired by my own struggles,  I came up with the idea for our classes – Building emotional resilience with yoga. This month I wanted to focus on the meaning of resilience and the importance of honouring our emotions.

Definition of resilience – “the capacity to withstand or to recover quickly from difficulties.”
Life is never just about being happy, it throws at us many different things outside of our control. In many situations, we can’t change any of it, but what we can change is our perception of the situation and our reaction to it. And yoga can help us to do it, it can help us to recover much quicker.
 
Emotions are an intricate and integral part of the human experience. They have the power to shape our perceptions, decisions, and actions. Often, we tend to categorize emotions as either “good” or “bad,” judging them based on societal norms and personal biases. However, yoga made me understand that emotions are merely energy in motion and that their inherent value lies in how we choose to navigate and utilize them. Imagine your emotional landscape as a vast canvas splashed with a spectrum of colours. Each emotion represents a distinct shade, and together they form a rich palette that shapes our experiences. Just as an artist blends colours to create a masterpiece, our emotional palette offers us infinite possibilities for self-expression, growth, and understanding. In society, we often tend to categorize emotions into: happiness versus sadness, love versus hate, joy versus anger. However, this view fails to acknowledge the complexity and depth of our emotional lives. Emotions, in their essence, are neither good nor bad. They are natural responses to our perceptions, experiences, and internal states. Rather than labelling certain emotions as undesirable, we should strive to understand their messages and lessons. Anger, for instance, can be a powerful motivator for change, while sadness can deepen our empathy and connection with others. By accepting and exploring our emotional diversity, we unlock a profound opportunity for personal growth and transformation.
 
Often, when faced with “negative” emotions, many of us have a natural tendency to avoid or suppress them rather than face them. This pattern of avoidance can be seen as sweeping these emotions under a metaphorical rug, hiding them from immediate view. While this approach may provide temporary relief or allow us to cope in the short term, it can have long-term consequences.
By avoiding or suppressing negative emotions, we fail to address their underlying causes or find healthy ways to process them. Instead, these emotions accumulate in our subconscious, creating an energetic vortex. This vortex acts as a sort of emotional whirlpool, perpetuating a cycle where negative emotions remain unresolved. As this vortex gains strength, it gradually drains our energy and vitality. The emotional turmoil lurking beneath the surface affects our mental well-being, often manifesting as stress, anxiety, or even depression. It consumes our mental and emotional resources, leaving us feeling exhausted and disconnected from our true selves. Moreover, this vortex can impact our relationships with others. Unresolved negative emotions can subtly influence our interactions, leading to miscommunication, heightened conflict, or emotional distance.
To break free from this draining cycle, it’s essential to face our emotions rather than sweeping them under the rug. By acknowledging and accepting these emotions, we open the door to understanding their roots and finding healthier ways to process and release them.

Step 1 – acknowledging the emotions
When we experience intense emotions such as joy, sadness, anger, or fear, our bodies often respond in various ways. These bodily reactions can range from subtle changes in heart rate, breathing, and muscle tension to more noticeable sensations like a racing heart, sweaty palms, or a sinking feeling in the gut. This mind-body connection is unquestionable. Even through our language we often express the connection between emotions and the body. We use phrases like “you broke my heart” or “I feel like someone kicked me in my guts” to communicate the impact of emotional experiences. These expressions highlight how emotions can be felt and experienced as bodily sensations. Scientific research supports the notion that emotions are indeed stored in our bodies. Studies have shown that emotions can elicit specific physiological responses, activating different areas of the brain and releasing various neurotransmitters and hormones. For example, stress and fear can trigger the release of cortisol and adrenaline, leading to increased heart rate and heightened alertness. Similarly, feelings of love and connection can result in the release of oxytocin, promoting relaxation and a sense of well-being. When we ignore or suppress our emotions, they can become trapped within our bodies, potentially leading to physical discomfort or even health issues over time. Acknowledging our emotions and their bodily manifestations is an essential aspect of emotional intelligence and self-awareness. By recognizing and accepting our emotional experiences, we can develop a deeper understanding of ourselves and better navigate the complexities of life. This process involves becoming attuned to our bodily sensations and learning to interpret them as signals of our emotional state.
It is important to find a few minutes and check how you feel. Sitting in a nice, calm environment. Maybe close your eyes and place one hand on your chest and one on your tummy and ask yourself a question – How am I today? How do I feel? What is my body telling me? In our class, we have done a drawing exercise when we tried to befriend the emotions and visualize them. Imagine your body shape and see where you feel the emotion, which part of your body, or maybe outside of your body? Do the emotions have got a shape or a colour? Maybe it has a taste or a sound, lights? If you were to touch it would it be soft or spiky? Try to get to know your emotions a little bit better. Draw them, name them, and be aware of them.

Step 2 – accepting and feeling the emotions

Once we have identified our emotions, the next crucial step is to fully accept them and allow them to exist without resistance. It is a natural human tendency to try and suppress or avoid uncomfortable emotions, but doing so can be detrimental to our well-being. By acknowledging and accepting our emotions, we create a space for healing and growth. Acceptance means recognizing that emotions are a fundamental part of being human. We all experience a wide range of emotions, including happiness, sadness, anger, fear, and many others. Each emotion serves a purpose and carries valuable information about our inner state. When we resist or deny these emotions, we suppress an essential aspect of ourselves and hinder our ability to understand and navigate our experiences. Allowing emotions to be means giving ourselves permission to experience them fully. It involves surrendering to the intensity of the emotion and embracing the discomfort it brings. It’s important to remember that emotions, no matter how overwhelming they may seem, will not harm us, however, if your mental health is not in good shape it might not be a great moment to do so. Your mind and your body will let you know if you are ready. Emotions are just temporary states that arise in response to our thoughts, beliefs, and experiences.

Fully accepting and allowing our emotions requires self-compassion and non-judgment. We must cultivate an attitude of kindness towards ourselves and recognize that emotions are neither good nor bad; they simply are. By embracing our emotions without labelling them as right or wrong, we create a space for self-acceptance and self-growth. Moreover, accepting and allowing our emotions can enhance our emotional intelligence. It enables us to understand ourselves better and empathize with others who may be going through similar experiences. When we fully experience and accept our own emotions, we become more attuned to the emotions of those around us, fostering deeper connections and more meaningful relationships.